I was sick, got better for one day, and have now slowly began losing my voice. Yesterday, I could do high pitched sounds, but they all came out sounding like velociraptors from Jurassic Park, if they tried to speak English. This morning, I have lost even that charming ability. My high pitched sounds sound like a forced rush of air like when two cars crash together. Or like when you do yoga and you have to inhale and exhale on cue. My throat makes windy, breathy, wind tunnel noises. Its especially noticable for certain words, like Hi, Sigh, Fie, disappear for the eer part. The list goes on and on. I just realized it also happens for when I raise the tone of my voice at the end of a question! How exciting for me! My sister thinks I'm obsessed, mainly because for the past 5 minutes I've trying out different words to see how they sound in my new and not-so-improved voice. Would it not be cool if some company came out with a pill or chip (its always either one or the other) that you can take or implant, or patch over your throat, that lets you talk in different people's voices and accents? For example, if you have a hot date, you stick on the Marilyn Monroe patch or the Fiona Apple patch, or for guys, the Sean Connery James Bond patch. If you have a meeting with someone who has not been performing their job, ie roommate or employee, you can put on the Marlon Brando Godfather patch. Or the Al Pacino Scarface patch. There are just so many possibilities. If you have to incite someone about something, you can do the Tom Cruise, You can't handle the truth patch. The list goes on and on. I wouldn't mind trying a southern Kyra Sedwik Closer accent. Or the Fargo, Dontchya know, accent. It would be awesome. Not to mention vera entertaining. At least for me. In this day and age, people have artifical hair, boob(s), eye color, heart valves. There's botox, face lifts, lipsuction, noise jobs, veneers. So why not voices? You have to admit that this is a novel idea. But god knows what your baby will look like if you accidentally reproduced with one of these people. You would have a circus freak. You would have to sell the child. Or sue! Or if you can handle the looks of the little monkey, just start saving up for a cosmetic surgery fund along with a college fund.