I can say with utter certainty, i KNOW that I have millions of fans. Even though not all of them know that they are fans, or have had the opportunity to read my blog, i know that if given the waning crescent of hope
to catch a fragment of brilliantly constructed sentence,
they would eagerly line up like blind-folded captives,
ready to walk off the wooden plank
and drown, in what i describe as my
casserole of genius.
as i sit in my cozy prison-cell like office, I am lucky enough to have my greatest fan drop by for a supervised visit. she sits right here beside me in her full esteemed regalia: coffee cup, scientific papers, and a red inked pen. she is most generous, and kind, and not bad looking either (wolf whistle here!!) few people are gifted with beauty AND wit, yet, here sits before me one so gifted. i am in awe.... (you sooooo owe me for this) and for this friend who is asking, confused, 'why do you say that?', i mean that you are good looking and yet still smart... jeeeez, international people, sheesh.
let me continue,
oh, yes,
and she is a good cook. this one is the whole package. sadly, she is taken, boys....so put your trousers back on. and don't let me forget to thank her for the tips (wink wink - if you know what I mean.) thank you. i must try them out tonight :)) ok. there you go. my ode to the kayak that rides in the nayak!!! (hopefully, this spiel will keep me supplied with free coffee for the next couple of days....) however, i do know that that my trusting, loyal, ocd-ish kayak is not my only fan.... because every once in a while, I get a feeling. its not a head shaking, spastic, shoulder shimming feeling. its just a simple down to earth, boiled russet potato feeling that there is one more sleep deprived, but still happy, smart, funny (or funny for me to make fun of), oh so terribly good looking (bordering on sizzling hot, och!), and not a bad cook, ladies, with not only an extremely sexy accent, but extremely good taste (obviously, since they are reading MY blog) is enjoying the random and creative tango that is taking place in my noodle. (that's brain, for you dirty minded folks out there....) this one is for you :))) alrighty them. spank you all for reading. I need to get some more 'tips' from the expert here. she is drawing out the 1 to 10 scale right now, and now some stick figures....
gotta lover her...
and I can't make her wait forever.....

its been almost one year since my previous post. this blog practically had an www funeral, and it is now trying to dig itself out of its internet grave. i'm here today to pull a dr. frankenstien, and bring back to life my half-assed creation. mary shelly should be so proud. but as dead blogs go, if I bring it back to life, i want it to come back as zombie. (zombies are the coolest! you heard what I said.) a bitchy, cynical, zombie that's going to return to its favorite pastime, being bitchy and cynical (while eating chocolate - i forgot to mention that this is a multitasking zombie; some genetical evolution has taken place in the midst of the blog death and decay.) resident evil can suck my very large, 10'inch co.... i mean pen.
so with no further interruption,
dum dum dum da da da da da dum (drum roll):
this blog has returned from the dead.
and i'm titling it: 'Mid-afternoon of the living dead blog'.
it is to be seen whether it will catch enough momentum and return to full undead status - please check back often for further updates.
(these things can not be guaranteed.)
god, I so love zombie stories.
I have no idea why.
its just the idea of a used-to-be-living, now dead, creature, up and walking about
with absolutely no purpose other then endless consummation of living, breathing, flesh.
so cool.
plus, there is also the whole 'survivor' situation, too. you know, the one where you think, 'what would i do if i was in an extreme life or death situation', and people's true belief systems come into play. are they cowards? are they selfish, self-centered bastards willing to lie and cheat to someone else' detriment, in order to get ahead.
I sooo enjoy these type of things.... immensely. reading about them is best. movies never capture (explain word for word in times new roman text) the thought processes that goes on behind the eyes of a person before they commit to some serious and consequential action. books reveal all... they satisfy this lust for the destruction of humanity and moral character. I love the breakdown process.
don't you always love to hate the ones that stick with their moral fiber. especially the religious and righteous all upity in their 'faith' and 'that's wrong' bullshit. they can go fu*k each other up their lilly white asses (cuz you know they are all white - yes, I went there. its my blog. I can say whatever I want.)
in any case, here is the demented resurection of my blog. just frosting has just come back from the dead. whooo haaa!